Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Randomize
