how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
