my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
