Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
