Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
