I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Randomize
