Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
