I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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