Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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