I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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