if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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