your thong is hanging out like whoa
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
