Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize