his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
you traded sex for a burrito?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
