he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
