Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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