i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
