Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I am naked and annoyed.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
