Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
