but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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