Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
