i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
