Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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