dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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