I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
