As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
