The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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