Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I bet he comes in French.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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