I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I deserve this hangover.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
