It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
