the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
