Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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