He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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