I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
