why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Randomize
