Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
