"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
im on a boat
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