it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
