If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
