Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
