Are we in a gay sports bar?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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