also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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