If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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