Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
