I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
