I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
