hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Dicks are not precious.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
