is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You made out with two different species that night
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
