Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
