That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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